Talks Writing
I should have enough time for another volunteering task before the kids return… Come on. What kind of task is that? Just– How am I supposed to estimate another species fitness for interstellar travel from over here? How come it’s a quick volunteering task and not a research project? Somebody needs to go and– Ah! There’s a dump of their informatorium, that’s how. Neat.
Let’s read the summary first. Flew to a satellite and back alive, good, settled nowhere so far, crew-less flights… OK, and? Since then? I double-check the dates. That satellite visit was closer to first intraplanetary flights than to now. Yeah, no wonder that summary needs an update, they must be on our doorsteps by now.
Ugh, their informatorium is of the worst kind, a decentralized one. And what’s even worse, it’s on strike! Pretty much every article in it is blanked out, millions after millions of them demanding the same in unison: “enable JavaScript”. In a sudden fit of solidarity, I have a throwback to the Klatztee rationing that my home planet experienced just a generation ago. The protests, the brink of the famine, the eventual policy overturn… Yikes.
I check back the snapshots, and sure, the informatorium dump has even shrunk in size since the last time. But the task requires fresh data, so using the previous ones is not an option. Hope they haven’t all died out yet since then, wasn’t that in the summary? Oh, wow, their population growth slowed down. What JavaScript deficiency does to people…
Anyway, what about interstellar travels of the poor fellas? At last, I find a strike-breaking “website” that continues to discuss technology, space travel specifically, as if their tiny world wasn’t on fire. Boo. And discussing JavaScript at length! Must be the corrupt elites hoarding it all to themselves. “Non-technical discussions about Linux/UNIX”, no idea what could that be, but as long as it ain’t on strike, that suits him fine. So, what’s their state of the art? Here’s a recent one…
“The first stage has reached the height of 178.4 meters”, uh-huh… “softly lowered itself to Earth with 1.7 meters precision”… Doesn’t sound particularly precise, but OK. “The total length of the rocket is 28 meters”? What the? Are their units linear? OK, that’s the first stage, how much lower the gravity is up there? 0.999937?!! How large is their planet? What’s a “kilometer”? Wait, what’s happening?
But what about that satellite they’ve reached before, have they at least settled there? No? Do they frequent it? Wait, they haven’t been there since? Their latest crew-less one-way flight there has crashed?? Some of them are beginning to doubt they’ve ever been there??? Perhaps they died out and these are the next civilization? No, the population graph would take a dip then…
With the kids almost back, I quickly write: “no chance of interstellar travel anytime soon; if anything, they’ve regressed”.I submit it and browses through the other replies, expert and volunteers alike: “no interstellar travel”, “no new achievements since last time”, “have space faring ambitions, do smack nothing about them”, “might go extinct all by themselves”, “lost all interest in space flight”. Well, duh. They’re struggling for their lives there. Sheesh. Cosmos bless those poor saps with all the JavaScript they need.